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New Year, Same World

New Year, Same World

Everyone keeps talking about how they can’t wait until 2016 is over. And I get it. 2016 was kind of a shit hole year for common decency, society, human rights, the environment, most pop music, and my exercise regime. But I’m not losing myself in my 2017 calendar, full of blissful wonder. After all, besides a change in year (that I… Read More »

The Election That Fear Built

Okay. It isn’t funny anymore. I’ve been feeling kinetic. Manic. My anxiety is tangible; it drips down my fingers like the juice from a recently peeled orange. I stick to the table with it. I have energy but I can’t move. It’s either the election making me feel this way or this sick case of PMS I got. I could just be… Read More »

Men Who Can’t Deal: Birth Control Edition

I’m going to take a break from grinding my teeth in dissatisfaction with Donald Trump’s possible impending presidency and discuss something else important. You know what I’m talking about. Birth Control. The BIG BC. Contraception. But this time, special twist, I’m talking about the male kind. “The what???” You gasp, intrigued and elated and, admit it, slightly scared. That’s right. Boys can take birth… Read More »

Rules for Becoming President

I’m compiling a list for those who may not be in the know. 1. If the pussy isn’t  yours, you must ask permission. Why? Because they could bite you. Furreal, pussies are not playthings. Just as you would not approach a rogue kitten on the street and attempt to cuddle with it (for one, fleas) you should not approach a… Read More »

Trump’s Biggest Fault: Making Cruz Seem Reasonable

You could use many words to describe the 2016 presidential election. Perhaps you would choose, “long,” “terrifying,” or even, “egalitarian,” if by egalitarian you mean that you believe that all people deserve the right to become president… even the ones that don’t. Personally, I would choose, “crap,” “misleading,” and “can’t-you-just-kill-me-already?” But I respect your choices. I’ve stayed pretty silent this… Read More »

Planned Parenthood: Battle of the Babies

Planned Parenthood: Battle of the Babies

I also wanted to call this piece, “Why Arguing About Abortion Rights Allows Politicians to Fuck You (And Make You Keep the Baby),” but I thought that ran a little long. As evidenced by my last post, I’m very tired of abortion. I’m not tired of having them – god no – I’m just tired of hearing people argue against them. I think… Read More »