Obama vs. Christie: The Penultimate Showdown of Things They Said Not to Each Other

Oh, politics. You’re so cheeky. Remember when you were about representing the people, human rights, and social progress?

I don’t either. For some reason, when I think about politics, I think of Upton Sinclaire’s The Jungle. I imagine poor people in factories and a lot of canned meats. I will vote for you as long as you don’t make me eat those things, basically.
But politics is less about all that shit and more about he-said/he-said/sometimes-she-said and all the media frenzy that goes along with that.
This brings me to the newest piece of political crazy. VACCINES AND PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT THEM (INCORRECTLY)! (I wrote a post recently… a very scientific post… about how vaccines are useless. That was… parody. Vaccines are very wonderful. )
Because of some misguided parents, measles has made a resurgence in our country. MEASLES. Are measles the thing where you have to wrap a scarf around your head and keep your jaw shut? …To keep your head from expanding? ….Like in all those old-time movies? That’s what that scarf was for right? Head expansion?
I honestly don’t know what measles are because I was vaccinated.
A bunch of children who are too young for the vaccine are getting sick because a bunch of kids who were old enough to get vaccinated weren’t and then got it… spreading it like crazy. Germs are gross.
Obama, in response to the situation, was quoted as saying you should vaccinate your children. And it’s true. Aside from the fact that there are worse diseases than measles out there that we have successfully controlled thanks to modern medicine and I don’t want them to come back, thank you very much, (though let’s not forget, measles can be fatal)  it kind of makes you a rude dick to get my kid sick because you didn’t think it necessary to protect yours.
So Obama points out this problem. He says, “you should vaccinate your children,” and pointed to the science stating that there wasn’t much evidence to tell you it’s a bad idea. Debunked experiments from long ago that touted the negative effects of the drugs have made a resurgence. While it’s important to constantly fight for access to knowledge about the drugs you are taking, you should also actively pursue knowledge that is… true.
Speaking of things that may or may not be truthful…. Chris Christie. While on a trip to London to promote himself or something, he decides it prudent to enter the conversation, because we all need to know his thoughts before we can form our own. He says it is up to the parents to decide what is best for their children.
And the crowd goes wild. Oh man Christie, you pseudoscientific-Obama-hating-ever-expanding-chip-mascot, HOW DARE YOU SPEAK UP.
Actually, what Chris Christie said was pretty tame, too. (At least from the initial reports I found. It is possible he has continued to say things in a more degenerative fashion in response to the media’s response to him.) But as it was, his comments were just useless froth that didn’t’ need to be shared with an intelligent public. I don’t need to remind you that Obama stating his opinion is not Obama demanding you do something or suffer Sharia Law.
But here’s the problem. I mentioned the intelligent public. When a public figure like Christie, who has (for some reason) fans who listen to him, speaks out against someone who is saying something quite logical (vaccinate your kids, don’t fear science), these fans who may not support the logical choices the president is advocating for are then validated in their misguided and potentially dangerous views. What Christie actually said was really unimportant. It was like bacon dusting (I’m making a fat joke) on a fluffy pork taco. Nobody would even notice it really, it is such a lame topping – er – statement. BUT LAME PEOPLE ARE LISTENING.
Point being – stop listening to the rhetoric. Chris Christie deciding to jump on anything anti-Obama does not mean he is right, a scientist, or even emotionally sound. It is politics. And the ridiculousness is only highlighted by the fact that other Republican lawmakers have also stated that vaccines are a choice/potentially dangerous/not to be regulated. They don’t care about your kids, they care about satisfying their constituents who have a weird view of the world.  REMEMBER THE CANNED MEAT.
And OH MY GOD stop reading health forums and comments sections on Youtube videos proclaiming that vaccines give your kids autism. EVEN IF THAT IS TRUE in the tiniest, TINIEST bit of cases, the alternative is getting a disease to come back that could potentially kill your own child AND countless others. Is death better than autism? I just don’t know…
I get that Christie is trying to disavow himself from Obama in preparation for his inevitable presidential run (which he will lose), but it’s all just unnecessary. We KNOW it’s up to parents. And apparently parents are picking incorrectly. But thank you for your input, big guy. I love it when you talk. It reminds me of being inside of bacon (another fat joke).

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