Posts Tagged 'alala news'

Men Who Can’t Deal: Birth Control Edition

I’m going to take a break from grinding my teeth in dissatisfaction with Donald Trump’s possible impending presidency and discuss something else important. You know what I’m talking about. Birth Control. The BIG BC. Contraception. But this time, special twist, I’m talking about the male kind. “The what???” You gasp, intrigued and elated and, admit it, slightly scared. That’s right. Boys can take birth… Read More »

Rules for Becoming President

I’m compiling a list for those who may not be in the know. 1. If the pussy isn’t  yours, you must ask permission. Why? Because they could bite you. Furreal, pussies are not playthings. Just as you would not approach a rogue kitten on the street and attempt to cuddle with it (for one, fleas) you should not approach a… Read More »

ABORTION! a love story

What happens when a woman meets her uterus for the first time? PICNICS! ROMANCE! ADVOCATING FOR EQUAL RIGHTS! Special thanks to all involved in this one! My writing partner and co-producer, not to mention an excellent uterus: Kolyn Brown Back-up Dancers: Ilana Webber and Dana Thomas The Priest: David Neutche Carly Fiorina: Lara Mahler Cinematographer: Jack Curry (www.heytheremynameisjack.com) Audio: Kyle… Read More »

Debates Round 2: What They Should Really Be Talking About

Tonight marks the second Republican debate – this time hosted by CNN – this time still featuring idiots. It makes no difference what station these people appear on, though perhaps there will be less riotous applause from the audience when the contestants (because this is America’s greatest pageant) spew hateful rhetoric. Although, it’s still the republican debate, so I assume the… Read More »

Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Religion Edition

In honor of Easter, Pascha, Passover, Holy Week, the rising sun, the solar eclipse, the lunar cycle, menstruation, and Going Clear… I think it’s time we talk about why your religion doesn’t matter. I’m not talking about why religion as a whole does not matter. I’m talking about specifically your religion. Or, perhaps, your interpretation of your religion. And here’s why. We… Read More »

This Month in the GOP: February

This Month in the GOP: February

February is a bitch of a month. Though it holds the least days, the freezing temperatures and back-to-back snowstorms make it feel unending. It is the epitome of the monotony of winter; the holiday lights are down, the new year has passed, the resolutions are forgotten, and I’m just a fat, freezing mess of a woman, refusing to get out… Read More »

Je ne parle pas.

Okay so… You know there was a shooting right? At a satirical publication in France? Called Charlie Hebdo? You know? There was a ton of coverage. Huge unity marches. Fox News started blaming it on strict gun restrictions in France as if they have even a fraction of the mass shootings that we do. And then something weird popped up with Obama… Read More »