Posts Tagged 'president'

Rules for Becoming President

I’m compiling a list for those who may not be in the know. 1. If the pussy isn’t  yours, you must ask permission. Why? Because they could bite you. Furreal, pussies are not playthings. Just as you would not approach a rogue kitten on the street and attempt to cuddle with it (for one, fleas) you should not approach a… Read More »

Trump’s Biggest Fault: Making Cruz Seem Reasonable

You could use many words to describe the 2016 presidential election. Perhaps you would choose, “long,” “terrifying,” or even, “egalitarian,” if by egalitarian you mean that you believe that all people deserve the right to become president… even the ones that don’t. Personally, I would choose, “crap,” “misleading,” and “can’t-you-just-kill-me-already?” But I respect your choices. I’ve stayed pretty silent this… Read More »

Kim Kardashian for President

It’s time to bow our heads and embrace our future. The future of Ms. President Kardashian. Before you get angry, I just want to walk you through this for a second. I’m going to take you on a sensory journey unlike anything you’ve ever experienced and I think by the end you’ll agree with me. We need Kim Kardashian to… Read More »